If your life is feeling stagnant, the best thing to do is decide what needs to be released. For me, it was my social media addiction. That’s right, I am calling it an addiction. I was finding myself losing so much time to scrolling and checking in on my socials. I told myself I would lower my screen time usage and a lot of days I was! The problem was that it was a quick, easy distraction available at literally any moment of the day.
I found myself picking up my phone to interrupt big feelings when they would come up. If I got frustrated while parenting my daughter, I would scroll for a little while after. If I was emotional about a man I was dating, my screen time would shoot way up. Whenever I would feel a little stuck while creating content or one of my programs for clients, I was picking up my phone to distract myself from the discomfort that brought up in the moment. Every time it felt like this little guilty pleasure. Like I shouldn’t be doing it and I know better, but I was just going to sneak it real quick. No one would ever know, right?
But I knew.
I started to become very aware of my patterns for distracting myself from the feelings. The more I indulged in that pattern, the worse I felt about it. I started to realize that I was seeking a feeling or numbing feelings through this little box in my hand that could be turned off at any moment. All of our patterns are unconscious until we bring them into our conscious awareness. So, I asked myself if this is actually LIVING or am I just existing?
I can write down goals every month and dream about what I want to create in the future, but if I am not actively pursuing them in my daily life… it’s simply a fantasy. You can waste aware your entire life while fantasizing about the future, like a stick with a carrot tied to the end dangling in front of you. It feels much safer that way sometimes. You get to dream of everything you want to achieve and feel the emotional high from it while staying safely in your comfort zone.
A couple months ago, I started getting really focused on taking action. I made a “master list” in my notebook with all the things that were floating around in my head needing to get done (holding on to them takes up energy, getting it on to paper is a relief). I started setting weekly intentions to get some of those things done off the list. Then I got a big white board where I planned my next day with the top two to three tasks that were a priority for the next day from those lists. This has been SO beneficial for me to start moving forward instead of feeling like I’m trying so hard and staying the same.
As I was doing this, I started to realize that at the end of some days I didn’t get everything done. So I used that opportunity to be extremely honest with myself. There were times when I really did over schedule myself or I was simply exhausted so I used that day to rest instead. Then there were a lot of other days where I started creating content for socials and the rest of the day I was caught up on those platforms. I was checking for likes, replying to comments, and hanging out in the DM’s chatting for HOURS. I found that I felt like I was getting so much done, but it wasn’t fully moving me forward. I wasn’t being intentional or strategic with my time.
So about ten days ago, I went on a Social Media Detox. I was so conflicted about it because I have entangled my views of business and social media. I had put all my eggs in one basket as they say. I was very reliant on my socials for all my marketing. So most of my ideas were focused on content creation and marketing. I needed to untangle those two so I could start to create differently in my business. I feel this is where I have truly stepped into being a CEO and running my business like a company. I am starting to view social media as the tool that it is. My lifestyle is quickly shifting as my world becomes more grounded into reality rather than thinking about my socials so often. I am creating multiple ways to connect with people and be of service rather than being so limited to just one method.
Being more intentional with my time, I am shocked at how much more I have gotten done in such a short amount of time. I had to really commit to taking the action instead of saying I want to then getting distracted. My energy levels are skyrocketing because I am not being depleted by consuming so much content, *PAYING* attention to what everyone else has to say, and *Spending* time on things that are taking more than they give. We use these words for a reason. Your attention, time, and energy are the true currency, spend them wisely.
Every morning, I wake up feeling truly in love with my life. I start to get curious about what I can create as a gift to the world, rather than checking my socials to see who liked my content or stressing about when I am going to get the things that I want. During the month of October, I have created this blog, my clothing line (@QueenThings_Clothing on both IG and TikTok- I also created both of those accounts along with content for them), and a program to be launched this fall. I have planned free masterclasses, the clothing line launch, plus a brick and mortar business in collaboration with my friend who runs @MessyBun.Moms print shop (planning our opening for next year!).
All of these things had been dreams of mine, I finally chose to take the leap by taking action daily to bring it all into existence. I am coming to these desires with a heart full of service rather than focused on what I can get out of creating them. These two shifts have been monumental for me during this phase.
I chose to support myself in these shifts by detoxing my physical body as well. Right before I went off socials, I saw someone sharing about the celery juice protocol from the Medical Medium. (Learn more about the protocol and it’s benefits by grabbing this book https://amzn.to/3aSMCbY) My Facebook friend was sharing how much his mental health had improved after a lifetime of trying everything out there from holistic treatments to spiritual retreats to western medicines to talk therapy. He said after trying allllll that, the celery juice protocol and the heavy metal detox was the thing that finally worked for him. Now, THAT is a testimonial that peeked my interest.
Last week, I decided that doing a celery juice protocol was the perfect compliment to my social media detox. It’s only been 7 days drinking celery juice every morning, but I am already feeling the benefits. The most noticeable is less inflammation. Our physical body stores all of our emotions and patterns, we think its our mind when its actually the body! Personally, I have noticed the biggest differences in my life when I make shifts in every aspect of my life rather than just one area. Awhile back I saw someone talk about a theory called Mean Reversion, most commonly used in the finance world. When applied to personal development, it is the belief that you will always have a “bounce back” towards your old habits. When you are only changing in one or two areas, its really easy to fall back into old habits because everything else is still the same. When you change across multiple areas, there is less pullback towards your old life. So when you inevitably bounce back a little bit, you will not go back so far and you’ll be able to make lasting change. Instead of 2 steps forward 1 step back… it’s more like 5 steps forward 1 step back.
This has given me a completely different morning routine than ever before. I sip my celery juice as I clean the juicer; then I look over my list for the day and set intentions for how I will feel/what I will accomplish that day. Every time I pick up my phone, I choose to check my list and reminders for the day instead of wandering over to scroll socials. After this break, I have very little desire to scroll the way I used to. I’ve realized that even though I was doing all the things that I thought would fulfill me: being a mother and running a business I love… I wasn’t BEING a person who loves their life. I was acting unfulfilled so I was feeling unfulfilled. By choosing to be in my life instead of watch other people live their life, I am able to make other choices that reflect my true desires.
Some of my top tips for doing a social media detox are:
Have a plan for connecting with people outside of socials. Unless you really feel the call to go into hermit mode, it’s not necessary to feel the benefits. I found myself connecting with people on a deeper level and remembering to check in on people that I had not talked to in awhile before my social break. Exchange numbers with close friends who you only talk to on socials so you can text or call them.
Be prepared for feelings to come up that you may have been avoiding. It’s safe to feel them. Get a journal or set up your camera to record yourself talking it out (I have done both).
Learn about Nervous System Regulation (more on this coming in future blogs, for now check out this book which helped me a lot too https://amzn.to/3jhrgJO)
Create a “Master List” of everything that needs to get done. I have also seen this called a dump list. Get it alllll out, then put about 2-3 things per day on your to do list. Make a commitment to yourself to get these things done as a priority. If you have more time/energy, then do more. Sometimes we underestimate the amount of energy one task will take so don’t over commit- it’s a form of self-sabotage. I just started using the reminders app on my iPhone and I am really enjoying checking things off there plus being able to set dates to finish them by.
Decide what other shifts you want to make at the same time as your social break.. maybe it’s cleaning out your closets, rearranging your kitchen cabinets, refreshing your wardrobe, starting a new morning routine, eating healthier, working out, reading more, crafts with your kids, or whatever comes to mind!
Delete the apps from you phone (or at least the home screen). There is a 99.9% chance that you will find yourself tapping those apps out of habit! Support yourself during this shift by keeping the apps out of sight so you can follow through with your commitment to this detox!
Celebrate yourself for being willing to change things up! Your awareness of your patterns and willingness to grow are things to be proud of! When you give yourself praise, you are more likely to continue doing it so you get that good feeling again and again.
If you run a business on socials, start brainstorming other ways to get in front of your people so you can take more breaks from socials when you feel called.
My intention with this space is to share in a raw, unfiltered way and create community. I feel so much more free to be my authentic self here than I ever have on socials. Thank you for being here!! Please, share your biggest takeaways, personal experiences, or anything else you feel called to share in the comments below.
Until next time.
xoxo 👑
Kayla